I frustrate myself so much sometimes. I know we all get this as well, it’s a common complaint and it’s one of the reasons why we even try diets in the first place (something that I refuse to do but still, the thought is always lurking there).

Since we have gotten our pets (go read about our goos) it has constantly annoyed me how strict I can be with them and yet not with myself. Degus have to be quite strictly watched as they have no sugar tolerance and can easily get diabetes so you must be careful in what you give them and even the quantities. One of our goos started to get a little fat and I instantly made sure that I watched them both eating and didn’t let him eat more than his fair share. He’s now a much healthier weight, perfectly happy about it and looking great! We also catsit for a friend when they go on holiday and this cat does have a weight problem but she must lose weight when she’s with us as she gets a certain amount of food a day and very few treats. She certainly gets no human food unlike when she’s at home.

So why is it so hard for us to treat ourselves the same? It’s so silly as it’s directly affecting us and our health, making us feel bloated or ill yet a pet is just getting fat (I’m going to just state I feel it cruel to allow a pet to get overweight but in the context of this thought process it doesn’t affect us to let it happen so in theory it’s ‘easier’ to let the pet be fat than look after ourselves). I constantly think that it’s because we can ignore an animal possibly being hungry when you first cut back on their food because unless they are literally skin and bone they’ll just get on with life. Yes they might look longingly at the cupboard they know has treats in but they’ll do that even if you’re feeding them 3 times their bodyweight in a day. However I know perfectly well this is not really why I struggle with restricting myself at all. I’m not sitting here on an evening thinking “Oh my, I’m so hungry, I might pass out in a minute from the hunger.” No, I can tell you exactly how my inner monologue goes. “Ohhh I’m so hungry. Well actually no, I’m not, but there is that bar of galaxy in the fridge… No, I don’t want it. I know I’ll enjoy 2 squares then just keep eating for the sake of eating it. I must be strong. If I save it I can enjoy a little bit tomorrow. Plus it’s expensive. Though I did buy it on offer… Hmmm if I eat it now then it’s gone and I won’t have any in the house to tempt me. Yeah let’s do it.”

Every. Single. Time.

It makes no sense. I know I’m not hungry. I even tell myself that. Then I go and do it anyway. I tell myself standing in the supermarket aisle that I don’t want to even buy it. It’s extra cost when I’d rather save the money and either put it towards something like saving for a mortgage or to buy a new toy for the goos. Then the next thing you know is that pack of biscuits on offer is in the trolley anyway. Because it’s on offer and it would be rude not to, right? I’ll even stand there thinking “Do I want this flavour or that flavour? Hmmm how about those?” Now I’m not a big fan of clothes shopping so if that was me in New Look I would literally walk through the store and unless something leapt out at me I’d not even stop to rifle through the items but a packet of biscuits? I’ll stand there and deliberate for 5 minutes. If I can’t look at the shelf and think “Ooh yes I definitely want those” then I just shouldn’t be buying any.

My boyfriend doesn’t help either (not that I try to stop him). If I go shopping on my own it’s usually not too bad because for a start I can’t carry it all if I do get too much and also because I’ll just tend to follow my list and buy real food only so I can get it done and get home quicker. When he joins me it will be “let’s just go down this aisle” and then I see something yummy and that’s that. Or he’ll just nip into Tesco on the way home from work and before you know it we have 4 tubs of ice cream in the freezer.

I don’t do diets as I say, I firmly believe you can eat a little of everything but the majority of it needs to be ‘real’ food (not processed rubbish but meals or snacks made from raw ingredients) so I will never turn down the odd bit of chocolate or ice cream (my real weakness there) or some crisps but what on earth happened to my portion control? Once I would have had 3 biscuits and that is that; that’s all my parents or my grandparents would ever let me have if I wanted biscuits. But now? No, the packet is open, the packet must be destroyed in one sitting!

On the plus side I have managed to stop eating a full tub of Ben & Jerry’s in 1 sitting. Most of the time. I usually take 2 sittings to do it now! Occasionally there will still be a “Whoops did I really eat the whole thing? Oh well” moment. Sometimes it just has to be done!

I don’t think my first update on my accountability is going to go so great this month. I’ve just sat and eaten a whole packet of chocolate orange digestives. I’m going out for a meal tomorrow with friends as a thank you for looking after their cat last month and then I’m making cheesecakes for people at work over the weekend. So I guess this will be my first ‘name and shame’ post on myself and August will have to be a different matter! I’ve found another blogger doing a similar thing and am following her updates; she too hasn’t had the greatest run that she’d wanted so that’s inspiring to me.